For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
