I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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