Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
