Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
