Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
