Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize