i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
