He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
