he was CRYING into my vagina
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We need a shit load of segways right now
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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