I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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