Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
