I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
