i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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