I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
