dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Drake has all the answers
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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