So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize