I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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