member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
the liver wants what the liver wants
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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