I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole