Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

ad ew i am wasted whats my problem

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(301): View more from Maryland

Bea Arthur died yesterday

(240): View more from Maryland

You shut your stupid mouth

(301): View more from Maryland

Betty White is next, I just know it.

(240): View more from Maryland

Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.

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(980): View more from North Carolina

How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i think i scared a bird with my dick

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?

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(317): View more from Indiana

We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.

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