We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard