when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I accidentally burped into my bong.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
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so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
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We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.