Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

when does round two start

(703): View more from Virginia

I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I accidentally burped into my bong.

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(229): View more from Georgia

my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore

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(708): View more from Illinois

We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."

(1-708): View more from Illinois

Let's do it. All homo

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(309): View more from Illinois

so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.

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(440): View more from Ohio

She swung at the pinata with crutches

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(480): View more from Arizona

All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.

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