Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
