Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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