i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
