Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sorry my hands just texted you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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