Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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