I'm drive I can fine osifer
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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