I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
