I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
