I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
