The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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