WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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