I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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