I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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