i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
