It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
