I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
