mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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