I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
