ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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