were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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