i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
