Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
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Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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