he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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