I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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