I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
