so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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