Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
