I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
