what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
