can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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