coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
