I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Too much gin, very little bucket
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
