I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
