i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We have so much sex to catch up on
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
