i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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