is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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