I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
