At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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