Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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