Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
