Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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