omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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