if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
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Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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