For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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